Vol. 4, Issue 1: Amateur Hour
Remember me? I'm back
One of the things that I’ve been trying to detach myself from is this mindless scrolling of Instagram that I do before I drift off to sleep. There’s very little good that comes of it*, other than me being awake longer than I want to be while I continue to feed my brain a tiny little dopamine hit every 16 seconds.
*The algorithm has figured out that I like to watch Sabrina Carpenter sing “Espresso,” (and also sing the words incorrectly) so there’s that - especially the performance at this year’s Grammys, which proves her to be not just a talented singer, but also a talented comic actress and a seemingly fun human being. Isn’t that sweet? I guess so.
Anyway, the other day, I was scrolling mindlessly through the 3 big things that Instagram tends to serve me as recommended content - ads for t-shirts, running gear and ED drugs - and I saw something that struck me as interesting. It was a true TIL moment - or perhaps more “today I realized” - for me. As I was flicking my thumb up and up and up, something flashed across the screen that said “The word ‘amateur’ comes from the Latin ‘to love’.” It finished with something ridiculous that escapes me as I’m typing this, but I had a moment when I read it.
Because of course that’s what it means. I’ve never taken a Latin class, but I have taken Spanish and I’ve done enough crossword puzzles in my life* to know “amo, amas, amat” - I love, you love, he/she/it loves - and to have been able to put it together in my head, but it didn’t click for me until I saw it right in front of my face.
*Currently on a 959 day streak for the New York Times crossword puzzle. Please hold your applause until the end
That got me thinking about the word and its connotation.
One way to use that word is a direct insult - I feel like this is how people usually think about the word. Someone screws something up and then another person says something like “what is this, amateur hour?”* It’s pejorative, not retiring or humble. And it’s not quite an antonym of what the word means literally from its root, but it’s close. It has nothing to do with someone loving something. It has to do with them either not knowing what they’re doing or being so inept they can’t handle a simple task. Amateurish has a strongly negative connotation.
*This hypothetical person is definitely over 60, almost certainly a man and probably white
In another sense, it’s just a benign word for a beginner. Hearing someone refer to themselves as “an amateur home brewer”* (for instance) doesn’t necessarily make me think of them negatively. I mean, I assume it means they either make very shitty beer at home because they thought they wanted to try it and had a fair amount of time on their hands and now the paraphernalia to do it sits in the corner of their garage collecting dust or they’re being modest and they’re basically a small batch craftsperson of the best beer you’ve ever had. They do it because they love it.
*This is totally unrelated, but I think I need a sourdough starter
But really, absent context, it’s just the opposite of professional. There are things that we do as an occupation professionally and there are things we do because we like to do them.
I’m kind of rambling here, but the thought that popped into my head and I think what consumes me is at what point did what we do professionally and what we love to do diverge so sharply? I’m sure there are people in jobs like advertising that love what they do. I haven’t met many of them, but I’m certain they exist somewhere*. I’m also certain that the vast majority of people think of what they do for a living and look at certain other things (art, music, literature, sports, traveling) as things that they love. Because it wasn’t that long ago that you could survive doing something you love because that thing was valued by the world at large.
*Certain is a strong word for the advertising industry specifically, but you get it.
I’m trying to suss out what I mean in real time here and my brain keeps coming back to art and artists. I’m using “art” as a broad catch-all to include anything that isn’t business - writing, music, etc. I’m also trying to quiet the part of my brain that’s been conditioned to think that you need to do something you don’t love (like work a desk job or behind the counter of a department store) to support the things you do love.
Music and the arts and literature and all of that provide real, quantitative value to society - there’s no debate there. That’s why people like Mozart (and hundreds of people you’ve never heard of) got paid by the leaders of countries to produce music*. This may come as a shock to you, but Mozart made exactly zero dollars from Spotify during his life time. Zero in vinyl or CD sales also. Beethoven too. Pretty fucked up says this humble observer.
*And let’s be honest: this country at this time does not value art and artists in a meaningful way as anything other than avocation or diversion. It’s not compulsory in schools. In fact, it’s the very first thing that gets cut. Which is what it is, but seems shortsighted to me.
I think what I’m getting at is there’s what you’re good at and there’s what you love. And ideally who you do professionally aligns both of those things. And I may be projecting a bit here, but I don’t think there’s much momentum in our society toward that. But as someone who is currently trying to find the thing that hits at the nexus of those two things, the idea of being an amateur resonates strongly with me, if you think about it from the true root meaning - to love. Is love all you need? Maybe not, but it’s a start.
As with everything else, none of this is easy. If it were, it wouldn’t be worth having. But it’s been a worthwhile thought exercise for me. What do I love? What am I good at? How am I finding something that satisfies both? And when I do, how can I run as hard as possible toward it? And how can I help others find the same?
Be an amateur, that’s how.
My good friend Doug Hesney is doing something super cool - he’s working with his local library on Long Island to curate a film series. The first one will premiere over the summer (it’ll be the Hitchcock classic Rear Window) and that will segue into other films of varying genres. As I’ve said to anyone who knows me, local libraries are a true treasure and they deserve our support in anyway we can muster. Check out The Cognitive Film Society - I’m hoping to have something up there about one of my favorite movies very soon - and join them for the premiere this summer if you can.
Thanks for the signal boost!