Vol. 2, Issue 10: The Past Is Gone
I listen to this podcast called “60* Songs That Explain the 90s,” which is not just a clever name. The podcast picks a song and spends a lot of time talking about it and explaining why the 90s. Some of them are mostly funny, some of them are sweet or sad. They’re also full of factoids, which is exactly what I need in my life all the time, forever and ever**
*They’re running at well over 100 right now
**For instance, Coolio called himself Coolio because one time someone said to him “Who do you think you are - Coolio Iglesias?” And if that’s not the best story ever, find me another contender.
There are two specifically that I would recommend starting with. One is for the haunting Mazzy Star song “Fade Into You,” which brought literally every emotion that I have to the surface. There’s nothing like going for a run to listen to a podcast and then openly weeping to the point where someone stops you and asks if everything is OK. I’m not sure that had the effect of getting you interested in listening to it, but here we are.
The other one is about “Hey Jealousy” by the Gin Blossoms, a song that on the surface is less haunting than “Fade Into You”,”* but when you dive below the surface might be even more disaffected and sad. This isn’t a conversation for this newsletter though. This is a conversation for like 12:30am on the couch of my dorm room.
*I’ll call the song “power pop”. Feel free to use another categorization of your own making
The reason I bring up “Hey Jealousy,” aside from the fact that 1993 Geoff really enjoyed screaming the songs from the top of his lungs out the window of his car, is that there’s a line in that song that can be interpreted any number of ways, depending on your worldview or mood at the time. Here’s the whole verse:
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone and something might be found
To take its place
All right, so look, there’s some real “sensitive ponytail man/freshman year philosophy major”* vibes to that. I get that. I’m also here for it. I’m going to pull those last two lines out and I’m going to apply them to TV, advertising, maybe measurement and possibly say something of my own with freshman year philosophy major vibes, because that’s what I was and apparently that’s who I am. I’m also narrating in real time here, folks.
*Since we’re talking about explaining the 90s, I’ve quoted the movie Singles here
The message to TV is clean: the past is gone. And while streaming services have an edge because they’re not subject to things like broadcast regulations through the FCC or language restrictions in dayparts, they have to find ways to fix it because appointment viewing simply doesn’t exist anymore. I think I’ve said this before, but when I told me kids when they were younger that we couldn’t watch something because it wasn’t on, they looked at me like I had 6 heads. And I’m of course not alone in this. I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago where people were saying that the entirety of their kids’ consumption of media came on their phone - not just TikTok and Snapchat, but any video viewing of any kind.
But I don’t think that’s a necessarily prescribed future - the past is gone, but something might be found to take its place*. I don’t think kids are tied to their phone for all viewing. I think they’re tied to their phones for viewing because no one has given them a viable alternative to watch any other way. My daughter and I watch the Great British Baking Show together - on a big screen. My son and I watch Lego Masters together - on a big screen. They don’t say no to watching that programming and, in the case of my son, sit through ads because it’s not on their devices. The programming is compelling, so they sit and watch.
*See what I did there?
So there’s a few solves here, imo. One is that they have to find more compelling, more interesting programming. I’m not sure if you’ve taken a spin through network schedules lately, but it’s not pretty. Formulaic dramas galore. There’s a reason that talent is running to streaming services and it’s not only a dollars thing. It’s a creative freedom thing. The networks simply don’t seem into the right level of creative freedom or taking any meaningful chances. That might have been fine in a world where there were 3 or 4 networks. It might have been fine in a cable TV world. But it’s simply wrong in a world where streaming services are airing all manner of interesting content.
Second, it’s time to get rid of existing break schedules and find ways to give more flexibility in the schedule. And, I’d argue, get rid of the on the hour and half hour start time structure. Some networks are playing with the first construct (reducing break structures, shifting advertising into a side by side with programming), but there’s no one that I know of that’s thinking creatively about when things should start and stop. I get that this makes it much harder to construct a schedule, but forcing someone into a 44 minute programming construct with 16 minutes of ads gives them very little creative freedom week to week. Why not find ways to make timing more flexible week to week?*
*I put very little thought into this, but take a show like the Crown on Netflix. There’s absolutely zero reason that program couldn’t air on ABC, other than the fact that it needs some flexibility episode to episode from a timing perspective to create the right narrative flow.
I’m also going to throw this out there - why not air a premiere live across all platforms, then drop all of your episodes at once after that on your streaming app and on VOD as an exclusive and get people to binge, then drive them to other on air programming related to that show? Making me come back week after week is too much. All it makes me do is wait until all the episodes are out and then I either watch them all then or forget that I wanted to and move on.
*Kind of a reverse of how it used to go - when the on air programming would drive to a 10-minute online short of some kind. Top Chef’s Last Chance Kitchen is a good example of this
And one thing that drives me nuts (and this is a federal regulation of some kind), but I can’t use my authenticated cable login in my cable provider’s app and get all of my channels when I’m traveling. YouTube TV and Sling and Fubo and the virtual services are not subject to this restriction and it’s a ridiculous legacy regulation for a world that doesn’t exist anymore. It shouldn’t be an issue for me to claim a “home household” where I get all of my channels and then be allowed to login when I’m away from home and get my channels. The “home household” construct would allow me to still respect the legacy cable market lines (so I couldn’t subscribe to Comcast if I live in a Spectrum market for instance) but also be able to watch the TV that I pay a zillion dollars for.
And speaking of paying a zillion dollars, here’s a thing that cable really has going for it: my cable subscription is far cheaper than the aggregate of all of my streaming services plus a virtual cable subscription (who are all raising their prices and adding advertising because their pricing models are totally unsustainable) and there’s a great efficiency that cable companies can offer. Drop the cable boxes, shift to cloud DVR, work with the streaming services to offer subscriptions as part of my package* and take back some control of the market here.
*Great job on this Spectrum, re: Disney+
I promised some freshman year philosophy vibes, so here it is: everyone knows that generally speaking, I’m no TV apologist. TV is effectively Al Bundy talking about the time that he scored 4 touchdowns for Polk High over and over (and over and over and over) again. Glory days, amirite?
But the past is gone and something might be found to take its place, so let’s get up off the barcalounger and create some new glory days, Uncle Cable. Your literal existence hinges on it.
Today is Giving Tuesday. We (in the US) spent a bunch of time last week eating a lot of food and then we had a whole weekend where we likely spent a lot of money on gifts and deals that come around but once a year.
A great way to cleanse your palate is to give money to causes that align with your worldview. If you’re looking, here are a few that I recommend (and one shameless plug):
Ironman Foundation (I’m running a triathlon and raising money for these guys)
Michael J. Fox Parkinson’s Foundation
That’s all for this week.
Until next week, friends